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Imagine yourself as the newborn
baby you once were. Whether you're a man, woman, teen, grandma - you've somewhere in time encountered the miracle of
a new born baby. The miracle of course is the fact that the baby is pure. It hasn't suffered anything. It's beautiful, perfect
in all of our eyes. We can feel the newness, the pureness of heart & the wonder of the moment of pure innocence.
Close your eyes
to picture the very moment that you were born. Maybe you know the story of your birth, maybe not. But if you have some
kind of idea, do you know who was in the room when you were born? Who was in the waiting room of the hospital? Who waited
at home for the phone to ring, saying that the time had come?! You were born! And what was the very first thing you did?
With your knowledge
of your birth moment right this minute - how does your personal birth picture make you feel?
What is the first thing that
everyone wants to hear when a newborn baby is born? The
cry! Can you see the picture in your mind?
 And so it is with every
baby that is born upon the face of the earth. Did you ever think about your own birth? What were the circumstances of your birth? When you are thinking about your own birth, what are you feeling?
Each of us has a different
story. Each of us are unique. We all had different beginnings. It's this unique, individual beginning that we build
on. As a newborn baby we are perfect. We are an empty slate that will be written upon throughout our entire lives. This is how you must think of yourself as you go through the emotion & feelings pages.
This process is how I learned that emotions & feelings were a vital part of personal growth & recovery. How can we emerge into a state of well being at a much later age, like me - beginning again at age 45! How could I understand why I was the person I was at age 45 if I didn't go backwards & see exactly what was written upon my empty slate - from
the very beginning of my life?
It's not an easy task, but I challenge you to walk through each of the sites with me as I tell you my story & how you can go back to see for yourself - how
you became the person you are today & what you can do to begin a life full of understanding & well being - both mental & physical as you find your own wisdom!
I'm sure
you can think of all the possibilities that the babies being born into the world today might encounter. What's being written upon their clean
black slates? Just as when you were born, every experience in every time is different. We're all individuals with our
own story, with our own unique journey.
When I began with the websites,
I began with the mental health site, anxieties 101. I was traveling blindly in determining what to do and where to go with the website!
It became apparent to me
after several weeks of counseling sessions that if I were to learn about mental illness - I would have to take personal responsibility for finding the information I needed to have. I realized that the system wasn't designed to give me what I truly needed. Therefore, I had to search the vastness of the Internet for my own information until I did have an understanding that I felt comfortable with. My problem was then, "how to use a computer and how to search the Internet!" I was completely computer and Internet
illiterate!
It took some time
for me to understand it all. I had NO clarity of thought. I had confusion, hurt & I felt as though I was stumbling through a thick fog. I was living in such turmoil & pain that I wasn't able to start at anyone's beginning. I did the best I could under the circumstances I was dealing with. I had to wait for the medications to take hold to alleviate the severe symptoms of mental illness I was experiencing.
I also had to admit to myself that I was experiencing mental illness.
That's sometimes a tough piece of meat to cut through. I had to grasp at straws to find a starting point after living one
year in my bedroom - totally isolated from everyone. I had to "come back to life" so to speak & find some element of who I was before I could go back to my
beginnings - able to see the connections.
It's all connected. Your family history, your first, second & third year of life, pretty much establishing
by then the actual personality, temperament (additional info concerning temperament click here) of the person you are today. Believe it or not... that's how it happens & if anything disrupted what might have been a "perfect" upbringing - who knows what might transpire.
Developing coping mechanisms when our needs weren't met, pushing through the parenting techniques of an untrained parent, dealing with not enough attention, too much attention, whatever happened... it all has a bearing
on who you are right now as you read my words.
And this is why I'm using this opportunity - the fact that
Lycos messed up one of the sites that is interwoven into the network - as a positive stepping stone to introduce to you all what I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years
of personal growth & recovery.
The first site I designed was titled, "anxiety understanding."
After awhile, the whole concept had to change because I use "free sites" offered by Tripod. There's only so much "free space" per site - & I had so much information
to share with everyone.
I had no idea in the beginning about how much information
I would need to acquire an adequate understanding of mental health & mental illnesses.
"anxiety understanding" evolved into anxieties 101 after I had the benefit of learning volumes about mental health & mental illness.
I'm not sure how I grasped the concept of having
to change the "whole person" to recover from mental illnesses, but I had read so many articles that stressed the importance of some basic lifestyle factors & the direct correlation between the mind/body connection.
I also learned that each age group & gender had their own individual
symptoms, problems & concerns that needed to be taken into serious consideration.
End result after many different attempts - anxieties 101 is divided into 3 major sections:
How about self withdrawal, isolation from others?
anxieties 101: this site contains information concerning the following 3 basic topic groupings.
Mental Health & Mental Illness
Did
you realize that more than 1/2 the people recently polled believed that mental illness, i.e., depression - was simply a "state of mind" that one needed to "snap out of."
anxiety disorders
generalized & social anxiety disorders:
separation anxiety mentioned as well
caregiver anxiety
panic disorder:
information regarding panic attacks included
phobias:
specific phobias, social phobia, agoraphobia
- additional page linked off of this page: the phobia list
obsessive compulsive disorder:
mention of other obsessive compulsive
disorder (tourettes, etc.)
post traumatic stress disorder:
acute stress disorder
Since
depression is very often co-existing with the above anxiety disorders as well as negative coping mechanisms resulting from unresolved emotions & feelings, eating disorders, abuse & other forms of dysfunction, there's plenty of information regarding depression & other mood, or affective disorders included.
depression page: links to other depression information within the site - additional pages linked off of this page: bipolar disorder, mood & affective disorders
how it all works:
This page is
offered because I found the information very important in understanding mental illness & recovery processes, how your brain works, how your brain is linked to many subjects, etc. as well as a glossary of mental health terms...
The
more you learn about mental illness, the more you begin to realize about how prevalent it
is within different age groups. therefore, I've broken it down into different age levels on each of the following pages...
Age & Gender Groups
children & mental illness:
Topics
concerning children & mental illness as well as info concerning the currently being developed site, children 101 - this site can be accessed while being developed! Additional pages linked off of this page: parenting 101
teens & mental illness:
Different
topics concerning teens & mental illness for parents to look over as well as info about the teenscene site!
young adults & mental illness:
What
concerns young adults directly in relationship with mental health & well being, i.e., college, eating disorders & other issues?
men & mental illness:
What
concerns men directly with mental health & lifestyle,
parenting, job related issues?
women & mental illness:
What
concerns women directly in relationship with mental health, parenting, career &
other issues -separate page for women about hormonal changes & connection with mental illness?
seniors & mental illness:
What
concerns seniors directly in relationship with mental health,
life transitions & other issues?
Lifestyle
factors have a huge link to our mental health. Thru my research I found that I needed an education concerning
my lifestyle habits that had a great bearing on my well being, so I included lifestyle pages on this site as well.
Lifestyle Factors
lifestyle diet:
It's surprising to learn the ramifications of a nutritious diet in relationship with your mental health &
well being! The connection can't be denied!
a direct
connection to mental health! the importance of exercise in your life!
lifestyle sleep:
information
regarding sleep habits, sleep, sleep hygeine & the importance of sleep in relation to mental health....additional
pages linked from this page: insomnia, special sleep problems in children
lifestyle relaxation:
descriptions
concerning different relaxation techniques & explanations as to how important relaxation is in our lives
lifestyle counseling:
explanations
of different kinds of counseling, the importance of counseling, definitions concerning counseling, etc.
lifestyle medications:
information
concerning medications used for different mental illness & sleep disorders
disasters unpredicted:
page
accessed from this page: understanding trauma
According to CBS News, "According to the Pentagon's latest mental health survey:
- 31% of Marines
- 38% of soldiers
- 49% of the National Guard
reported psychological symptoms such as:
after returning home. As the director of the survey said, combat stress isn't something you just get over.
"It may manifest and
change their lives forever. These are men and women who have undergone experiences that are unlike anything else in humankind,"
Vice Adm. Donald Arthur said.
For wounded soldiers like Staff Sgt. Daniel Shannon,
post-traumatic stress disorder adds insult to their injuries.
"I started smashing furniture, very
rapidly; so fast I didn't know what I was doing 'til it happened. I'd get mad so fast, so angry, and just lash out," Shannon said."
If you're feeling as though there might be a possibility
that you're experiencing depression, anxiety, panic, post traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder or a phobia - I urge you to click on one of the above underlined links to visit anxieties 101 to see if you're dealing with the symptoms of an anxiety disorder &/or depression.
Since anxieties 101 has been so busy, I've tried over the 5 years I've been working on the sites, to keep new & updated material
& information available for you always. In keeping with this thought, you'll see on every page of anxieties 101 a section titled, "in the news...."
You'll find pertinent articles that have been
recently published on the internet. All you do is click on the underlined title & a new window will open with the article
on it.
Keep reading in the right hand column as there are additional facts concerning
the emotional feelings network of sites over there!
After I removed the majority of the abuse information from anxieties 101 & emotional feelings - to make more room for mental health information, I designed abuse 101 to be sure to include the important information concerning abuse & domestic violence.
Today the domestic violence shelters are not providing the abused women and children with what they truly need; which is a mental health evaluation for both the
woman involved as well as her children. They are harboring unresolved emotions and feelings that will surface eventually. They need to learn about mental illness and how to resolve their old issues as well as their
unresolved emotions and feelings!
This is another strong
connection within the emotional feelings network of 28+ sites!
"anxiety understanding," my original website -
included a section concerning domestic violence & abuse.
These topics had to be omitted because of space limitations with the Tripod free websites. As I felt that there was more information that needed to be addressed with each topic, I omitted the topic from anxiety understanding and
then opened a new site for the omitted topic - ABUSE.
This process is how the network of 28+ sites came to be!
The new website - dealing with domestic violence &
other types of abuse - abuse 101 - was born.
I survived domestic violence & other types of abuse growing up & as an adult. While abuse 101 is in existence, it only has basic information available & it remains in need of more work on my part to make it more complete.
The important thing I learned about abuse is that if you're in an abusive situation now or if you've been abused sometime in your past - the result of that abuse can be - a huge pit of unresolved emotions & feelings - that you've buried inside of you for a very long time.
If you've ever asked the question, "Why doesn't an abused woman leave her abusive situation?" your answer is - she's probably suffering from several types of abuse that have escalated into some kind of mental illness & even physical illnesses. If she's depending upon her husband's
insurance to be treated for a physical illness - she can't leave the relationship.
After living in one + domestic violence shelters in my adult
years, I was never once asked if I was experiencing symptoms of mental illness. They may have asked me entrance questions;
but I don't recall anyone referring to mental illness. It was never suggested that I check into having a mental health evaluation.
It was never once suggested that my children receive a mental health evaluation or counseling.
I have to tell you that although domestic violence shelters
are a necessary system in today's world, they need to be re-evaluated to establish a routine of helpful assessments to help reduce the times a woman returns home to her abuser.
A mental health screening might save hundreds or even thousands of lives if a victim might receive new of a diagnosable
mental illness that needs attention.
If a woman who has escaped into a domestic violence shelter
who has been experiencing depression due to her abusive relationship and environment - she needs to know that her
children are at a very high risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders or even an eating or sleeping disorder
as well.
Also it's a
proven fact that the woman who tends to be a victim of domestic violence usually has few life skills. You can visit the Life
Skills 101 website by clicking here! Check out how you can improve your sense of well being by learning how to be an independent
person who is able to take care of herself and her children without that abusive spouse or partner.
"anxiety understanding," my original website -
included a section concerning domestic violence & abuse.
These topics had to be omitted because of space limitations with the Tripod free websites. As I felt that there was more information that needed to be addressed with each topic, I omitted the topic from anxiety understanding and
then opened a new site for the omitted topic - ABUSE.
This process is how the network of 28+ sites came to be!
The new website - dealing with domestic violence &
other types of abuse - abuse 101 - was born.
I survived domestic violence & other types of abuse growing up & as an adult. While abuse 101 is in existence, it only has basic information available & it remains in need of more work on my part to make it more complete.
The important thing I learned about abuse is that if you're in an abusive situation now or if you've been abused sometime in your past - the result of that abuse can be - a huge pit of unresolved emotions & feelings - that you've buried inside of you for a very long time.
If you've ever asked the question, "Why doesn't an abused woman leave her abusive situation?" your answer is - she's probably suffering from several types of abuse that have escalated into some kind of mental illness & even physical illnesses. If she's depending upon her husband's
insurance to be treated for a physical illness - she can't leave the relationship.
After living in one + domestic violence shelters in my adult
years, I was never once asked if I was experiencing symptoms of mental illness. They may have asked me entrance questions;
but I don't recall anyone referring to mental illness. It was never suggested that I check into having a mental health evaluation.
It was never once suggested that my children receive a mental health evaluation or counseling.
I have to tell you that although domestic violence shelters
are a necessary system in today's world, they need to be re-evaluated to establish a routine of helpful assessments to help reduce the times a woman returns home to her abuser.
A mental health screening might save hundreds or even thousands of lives if a victim might receive new of a diagnosable
mental illness that needs attention.
If a woman who has escaped into a domestic violence shelter
who has been experiencing depression due to her abusive relationship and environment - she needs to know that her
children are at a very high risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders or even an eating or sleeping disorder
as well.
Also it's a
proven fact that the woman who tends to be a victim of domestic violence usually has few life skills. You can visit the Life
Skills 101 website by clicking here! Check out how you can improve your sense of well being by learning how to be an independent
person who is able to take care of herself and her children without that abusive spouse or partner.
Here are some of them:
- physical abuse
- mental abuse
- verbal abuse
- domestic violence
- child abuse
- sexual abuse
- financial abuse
- spiritual abuse
& there's also information concerning:
- abuse of power
- control
- intimidation
- manipulation
Those of us who experienced or witnessed
domestic violence or abuse as children within our family or origin or our extended family may have found those experiences confusing at the time. I certainly was confused as to how an adult could allow this to happen to children.
But after the same domestic
violence occurred in my own family; I found my adult children echoing the same concern, "Mom, how could you let our step-father hit us & punish us the way he did?" The betrayal instilled into their hearts by my lack of knowledge cut like a knife into their psyches.
Now I know what to do and
I know that by educating myself and my children - that we've nipped the domestic violence in the bud - ending a generational acceptance of family violence and betrayals.
Those of you experiencing
domestic violence or any other type of abuse, know what abuse feels like. You know what you're experiencing now and how it felt in the past. You fear what will happen in the future. You don't need any education concerning feeling abuse.
What you do need is an education concerning why people abuse others, you see, it's not your fault.
You need an education concerning what to do if you want to stop being abused.
You need an education concerning what abuse can do to you in the short and long run as well as what abuse can do to your children.
You need to learn the mechanics of abuse. You need to learn as much as you can about abuse so that you can totally understand it. Once you can totally understand it, you've empowered yourself enough with that information you've learned to take action. Taking action means you can make
changes in your world, and in your life.
Understand this... first you educate yourself, then you understand what you've taught yourself... then you feel strong enough to take action to cause changes. And when you begin to bring about positive change into your life, you empower yourself even more. It's up to you to get out of your victim status!
I was laying in bed the other night,
listening to some soft music on the radio, and this song played. I kept forgetting to find it to look at all the lyrics to
be sure that they were what I thought they were. But... I was surprised to find the title, Superman! (It's not easy to be
me)
I was thinking
in some of the lyrics that I could identify with it sometimes. So I'm posting it. How many people in our lives believe we're
that "Superman" or "Superwoman" in their lives?
And we're thinking ...
Superman
(It's Not Easy to be Me)
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better
part of me
I'm more than a bird
I'm more than a plane
More than some pretty face
beside
a train
It's not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find
a way to lie
About a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd
but don't be naive-
Even
Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed
but won't you concede?
Even Heroes have the
right to dream
It's not easy to be me
Up, up and away: away from me
It's all right
You
can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that
naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a
silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking
for special things inside of me
It's not easy to be me.
do you understand what I was thinking?
Another important connection that was made clear to me - childhood experiences & how the parents'
mental health, physical health & experiences affect their children.
As you read above, from birth,
we develop our personalities, our temperaments, and determine who we will be in the future.
As I kept in mind the information
over at anxieties 101 that had been broken down into gender, age & also included the very important lifestyle factors; it became clearly apparent
to me that there was too much information that had to be included about each one of those factors to keep it all at anxieties 101.
For the children,
with whom I was very concerned about - being a mother - I designed the children 101 site. My mental health issues began in childhood. I didn't know that - of course. I didn't even know what depression was until I was in my 40's.
Naive as I was, once I learned about myself & how I developed mental illnesses as a child; I knew that the children site was
essential for parents who were discovering that they, themselves were experiencing the symptoms of a mental illness.
The more information I had learned about abuse & children who were brought up experiencing domestic violence within the family of origin; I realized that these children were at high risk to develop mental illnesses themselves. I learned
that children of a depressed mother had a very high risk of experiencing depression themselves.
Children 101 is a work still in progress, but so am I! I'll continue to work on all the sites to keep them up to date & filled with
current links to pertinent articles outside the emotional feelings network of sites
for additional learning opportunities.
The teenage years in
anyone's life can be full of turmoil. Add in the connections to mental illness, abuse, domestic
violence, unresolved emotions & feelings and trauma or crises experienced in the first three years of life - you've got a serious connection to dysfunction
in the teenage years.
Knowing full well that some
of my most painful years were the teen years, I designed a teen site full steam ahead. Within this great site, I offered the
girls their own perspectives for the lifestyle factors & some other important considerations for teenagers. The guys have
their own information on the "his pages!"
Teenscene offers the following information for teenagers:
- a look at mental illness from a teen's perspective
- facts - teens need facts - these facts allow teens to know that there are other teens experiencing the same problems that
they are; i.e., living with a parent who is an alcoholic or living in a foster home
- her - diet, exercise, relaxation & sleep
- his - diet, exercise, chill out time & sleep
- her - choices & relationships
- his - choices & relationshps
- info about school
- emotions & feelings
- running away
- communication skills
- feeling like no one loves you?
- peer pressure
- drugs, drinking and rock & roll
- fears - i.e., will something bad happen to my family? Will I make it thru school to be
financially independent?
- & many more topics including counseling & meds teens might have to take if they're
experiencing a mental illness
I'm in the process of developing
separate sites for the girls & the guys. angels and princesses is the girls site that's currently under construction. As I've learned more & more about what's important for teens to
learn as they grow up in today's world, I've found that I truly needed to address the issues but didn't have enough space
available at teenscene.
- who am I?
- what is self care?
- self worth & self respect
- incorporates the lifestyle factors into this site to leave more room at teenscene for other
topics that need to be addressed
- spirituality
After working diligently
to get the above sites into action, I remembered how man is simply a "creature of habit." Thinking about how some people just
can't seem to make changes on their own and sometimes need some encouragement, I designed another site that originated as
"lifestyle changes."
lifestyle changes
is now
Your lifestyle directly affects your physical and mental health. changes delves slightly deeper into your:
- lifestyle diet: proteins, carbs, fats, veggies, fruits - etc.
- lifestyle exercise: cycling, walking, running, yoga, hiking, rowing, even gardening - etc.
- lifestyle sleep: sleep hygiene
- lifestyle relaxation: meditation, relaxation breathing, relaxation techniques
- lifestyle counseling: more info concerning types of counseling available
- lifestyle meds: more info concerning meds taken for mental illness
- volunteering
- quitting smoking
- setting goals
- making plans to achieve your goals
- quit using excuses & hang ups
There's still more info
that needs to be added to changes. It's coming slowly but surely, but enjoy the information that it already contains. You'll
be surprised how there is a huge connection between your emotions & feelings and making changes.
There are some other
tools that are imperative to learn about for making changes in your life. I thought about this one for some time and
came up with a name that signifies the layers and layers of unresolved emotions and feelings we have to resolve to live our life in peace and happiness.
Determining what kind of
work we have to do has a huge bearing on the following topics over at "the layer down under."
Visiting The Layer Down Under: click the underlined
link!
The Layer Down Under at one time, was
included in the spare space on each site & consists of additional information that wasn't accessible thru our navigational
menu on the left hand side of each page.
The Layer Down Under is a source of information concerning the tools that you'll need to "dig in deep" while exploring your emotions & feelings.
I named it The Layer Down Under because as you'll soon discover, if you haven't already, that there
are layers & layers of unresolved emotions & feelings buried deep within each of us. To get down beneath the very first layer of them all, you need to learn some additional information that will help you understand how to resolve those old
hurts, raw open & sore emotions that have been underlying everything you've done in your life.
Discover one emotion & be sure that it's secondary to the original or another emotion that's above the original emotion experienced during your trauma or relationship dysfunctions. That's the way it works....
Just peel back "the
layer down under" to learn more & more buried information as you can feel within yourself that your
problems are multi-dimensional.
Subjects covered in The
Layer Down Under....
Addictions - Drug & Alcohol Abuse, Gambling, Smoking & more addiction factors... Becoming addicted to something is
a negative coping mechanism that we use to keep us from feeling the pain we have inside us...
Addictions often occur as a result of abandonment, divorce, neglect, abuse and relationship dysfunctions as well as living in an inadequate environment as a child. Those of us who had parents who were experiencing dysfunctions & addictions in their lives didn't have a clue as to what they were doing was going to affect us & the generations to come!
After
learning about alcoholism, which was my own negative coping mechanism beginning in my teenage years has caused me to reflect on the quality of life that most teenagers are seeming to have today. It's apparent to me now that these troubled kids are
reaching out for unconditional love and support.
My
own parents were alcoholic, but in their minds they were simply normal people who indulged in a few drinks everyday. That's what makes the investigation
so interesting! We have our belief systems because of what our parents taught us. What they taught us couldn't ever bring us to understand
what we actually experienced throughout our lifetime. Finding the connections to all the wrong pathways taken in your life can help you to curb addictions, find positive coping mechanism and start a new healthy lifestyle!
Attitudes... What's yours?
We all have attitudes. Learn more about how your attitude affects your daily life & impedes your progress in self growth & recovery.....
When I began to think about my attitude now and back when - I had to admit it wasn't always a pretty picture. Just think about the teenage years! "Teenagers! Give
them an inch and they walk all over you!" My grand daughter is addicted to The Little Mermaid if you didn't recognize that
little quote!
But as I began to research how our attitudes affect us I began to notice more and more how other peoples' attitudes affected me as well. So research on to learn how to be strong in a "positive & productive attitude!"
Beliefs - Extracting False Ones....
We all have beliefs. Most of our belief systems were formed
when we were children living in a dysfunctional world... often times learned from our parents who were dysfunctional themselves....
I'd never even considered how I established my belief system. After I began to understand how we think, how our brain develops and works, and then more about our thought processes I could related to the concept of how we establish our belief system. But! I didn't believe in most things my parents did.
So after long thought and study, I've arrived at my own set of beliefs and I can tell you why I believe the way I do - most of the time. I believe it's important to consider why you believe what
you do and once you establish those beliefs, it's wise to set convictions deep inside that you can count on keeping while making important decisions in your life.
Body Image.... I myself have lived with an eating disorder for most of my life, "night eating syndrome." Professionals aren't quite sure what to do with this
disorder yet. Although it was discovered in the 1950's, professionals haven't studied much about it.... I believe that
my negative body image sold me on eating at night for comfort among other things.... Read more about what people are facing these days with their own body image issues....
Accepting Change.... Change isn't easy. We all get used to doing things a certain way & although we may know it's not the "best" way for us
that we do these things... it's so hard to accept that we have to change. Acceptance is the first detail to work on when we're talking about changing ourselves....
Feelings The same goes for this "feelings page." About feelings generally, why we experience
feelings, what we do with them, what we don't do with them that we should as well as other general information concerning
feelings... it's an interesting page!
Insight
While professionals & experts,
well - you know - those educated people, maybe like you, are out their in their worlds of business, finance & other mainstays
of our modern world, there seems to be an elemnet of doubt concerning some of the subjects contained in The Layer Down Under...
Like... how important is it for us
to look for insightful information in our every day lives?... After being raised by well educated parents who didn't
know anything about "insight" I can rightfully say that most people are letting their educations get in the way of this important
factor that they're missing out on in their educated lives.... that's right, i said it.... don't be too educated to
miss out on concentrating on the insightful information you may be missing in your daily life, this page talks about that
abit!
Inspiration
Another blessing
often passed by is the gift of inspiration. How open are you to allowing yourself to be touched by an inspiring message? How
hard do some of you work to look the other way, saying, "this is crap...." instead of pondering on what could be a very inspiring
message?
Intentions
This is an interesting topic that I've wanted to cover from the beginning of my website ventures.... you could
say,
"I've had the intention
of covering this topic since the beginning of the emotional feelings network, perhaps because it hits so close to home (being a personal interest) that I've procrastinated a bit about it." Just what do your intentions
say about you as an individual? How come many of us fall short on fulfilling our good intentions? An interesting topic - are
you willing to ask yourself some important questions?
Intuition
Just how intuitive
do you allow yourself to be?
Do you hold any
stock whatsoever in what your intuition tells you? Maybe you should check out this page to find out the importance of
being open & present enough to rely on your intuition for making important decisions.
Letting Go.... Do you know how? After we discover that underneath our anger with life there's an open wound left behind from abandonment, abuse or
some other dysfunction in our past, how willing are you to sit and feel that unresolved emotion or feeling, so you can "let
go" of it & settle that account out of your life? Don't know how? This page lends some insight on that topic.
Listening... Are you an empathetic listener?
This is one of my personal vices.... I admit it. I'm not a good
listener at times, especially when it comes to my husband. I sure want him to listen to me though. The times do happen though,
when I can keep my mouth shut long enough to soak in just what he's trying to tell me, and believe me.... it's usually a very
insightful experience. It's amazing what we can learn about others as well as ourselves when we choose to keep our mouths
shut and empathetically listen to someone.
Mingling with Mindfulness...
Another faux pas of the educated community, is ignoring the
fact that most of us are not living "in the present' moment to allow ourselves to be mindful. It's how we solve some of our
most difficult blockages, by being mindful of what is happening around us, by what we encounter along the journey of self
growth. Let yourself become mindful - it takes practice, but well worth the effort.
Opinion... Everyone seems to have one.... This
is a subject that I have had trouble finding information on believe it or not.... Opinions are everywhere, available to us
everyday whether we want to listen to them or not! I like opinions. I am curious as to why people believe the way they do!
I like to ask some questions after I hear peoples' opinions & try to understand just why they think the way they do. Hoping
to learn something from someone's elses belief system is an interesting opportunity. How curious are you about someone elses'
opinions? Can you say you even care how anyone else thinks?
living in "the present"
Are you always thinking ahead or behind? Many of us are stuck in a rut of a very common avoidance behavior that involves
us being preoccupied with what we have experienced in the past, which hinders our growing in the present moment, or always
thinking ahead as to what we want to do in our future. taking the time to be "present" in your life allows you to use some
of the tools you'll find in The Layer Down Under, to be happier in your life & make some important changes.
Reflections.... how clear is your mirror of opportunity?
That's right,
how clear is your mirror of opportunity? Do you take the time
to reflect on anything? Does your behavior reflect a certain behavior you're stuck in? Do you even want to go there? Be real
with yourself, letting your authentic self be known. Take time to reflect on important subjects, be open, mindful & in
the present moment to reflect on just who you are as a person.
Risk Taking ... How Vulnerable will you allow yourself to be? Pretty good question, isn't it?
Life can be extremely hurtful to us at times.
I rely on the wisdom of a great book when I think about taking risks.... it's a book that I read when I was a teenager,
it seemed to be all the craze back then, but it's wisdom is eternal... the author, kahlil gibran in the book - The Prophet
- offers such gems as "how can you know joy if you haven't experienced sorrow?" that's what risk taking is about.... allowing
yourself to be open, maybe to sorrow, but what can you learn from that sorrow is my question to you.... what can you learn
from letting down your defensive outer shell & learning to take some risks?
spirituality
Another topic that puts us to the test... are you letting your education stand in the way of being open to spirituality?
What do you hold sacred in your belief system? I struggle with this one as well.... 12 steppers are all about their "Higher
Power,"
Christians are all about their "God"... Muslims, Jews, Buddhists are all about who they hold sacred in their beliefs
as well... what do you truly believe?.... do you think that spirituality is only about religion? Take some time to consider
your sense of spirituality in your life...
stress
Now we know that
we can be stressed even in the womb. What about that? Geez o Pete! It's amazing what research can tell us these days about
stress... learn more about keeping stress out of your life here....
Thoughts & Our Thinking Processes
Not Dinnertime conversation for us baby boomers - that's for sure...
For us it was always the line from our parents, "Because that's
what I said!" or "Because that's the way it is!" Well for us as adults, we have to examine how we think, especially
us "boomers." What we believed is most likely, not so, and how we think, is most likely slightly mixed up.... can you be real enough
with yourself to really examine & maybe even change how you think about things?
the 3 newest pages at the
layer down under!
boundaries....: something we need to learn about for healthier relationships! Who ever knew? I happen to know many baby boomers
who didn't know anything about boundaries. Shoot!
I was amazed in my 30's when someone told me that I had "choices!"
how miserable is your life because your expectations
never seem to come to fruition? perhaps we need to evaluate those expectations or get rid of them all together!
It seems that no matter how many times I advise my kids about
having expectations, they just stare blankly at me and not their heads. I don't know where their expectations have come from,
but I do know mine came from my upbringing - "My mother always told my first husband - you'll never be able to support Kathleen
in the manner to which she's become accustomed!"
Fairy Tales were the other place I got my expectations from.
I was always dreaming about my prince charming coming to take me away on a white horse and marry me. Mine ended up taking
me away in a burgundy BMW which is fine, but my expectations only caused me more pain and disappointment in the long run!
humor.... how many people do you wish had a better sense of humor?
how about yourself? did you forget that you were supposed to have one?
Did you know that simply anticipating laughter
will reduce your stress level? Humor is a life saver in more ways than one!
Once again, I ran out of space for the information that
I feel is essential for you to know about the topics at "the layer down under." The topics - featured above - are
mostly tools for you to become aware of to implement into your daily journey of personal growth and/or recovery.
Confusing.... sorry. Either way you look at this concept of layers and layers being peeled back of unresolved emotions and feelings,
personal growth and recovery happens when you study and reflect on the topics contained in this section of the emotional feelings
network of sites.
Let's take a look at what topics are covered in this section of the network!
When emotional feelings started there were about 25 emotions & feelings
contained in one site! now there are in excess of 13 sites that contain many more emotions & feelings.
Thousands of people every month visit the emotion and feelings sites to
learn more about a very important topic - how to recognize that they're feeling something, to identify what it is they're
feeling, to learn how to process their emotions and feelings & lastly how to let go of them when they're ready to.
While all this was going on
in the left hand column, I was still dealing with an "unknown" eating disorder every night. Night eating syndrome was first
discovered about 1957 - the year I was born actually - by Dr. Stunkard. I finally had found some information about it
on the internet. I was amazed at how few resources there actually were.
Dr. Stunkard's team at Pennsylvania
University's Weight and Eating Disorder Clinic. We've heard from one of the doctors there at the clinic, who looked over night
eating to say, "Good Work!" I worked with the clinic to steer night eaters over to their website to take certain surveys that
are helpful in determining information that will be processed and given out to physicians and mental health professionals
to inform them of the syndrome.
Check out the website if
you have a problem with eating at night or any other eating disorder. Sleep disorders are also featured there because night
eating syndrome is a 3-pronged syndrome involving:
- disordered eating
- sleep disorders
- psychological trama, crisis, unresolved emotions & feelings,
or family dysfunction
Why do people end up "a basket case" like I was 5 long years ago?
I experienced so many horrible things in my past. The sad
fact is that I'm not that different than millions of others. The numbers of people who have experienced trauma in their lifetime
are staggering! Perhaps the most debilitating trauma I experienced was Parental Alienation.
Parental Alienation happens when during a divorce, one parent decides to sue the other for custody of the child(ren). In either a well
laid-out evil plan or unconsciously the parent suing for custody works the mind of the child(ren) involved to coerce the child
into rejecting the present custodial parent. (of course, this can work vice versa)
This event took place over 13 years ago and
it's not until now that I can go back to the site I tried to design 5 years ago to work on it, including now my own personal
story once I feel confident enough to recall the entire experience.
If you're struggling through a nasty divorce and have heard
of parental alienation - forget about it! Try to work out the problems you had in your marriage, get couples and personal
counseling, do whatever it takes to make your marriage work, unless of course, domestic violence or other abuse is taking
place.
At each emotion & feeling page there's a dictionary definition at the top of the page!
your dictionary definition:
e·mo·tion n.
-
A
mental state that arises spontaneously rather than thru conscious effort & is often accompanied
by physiological changes; a feeling: the emotions of joy, sorrow, reverence, hate & love.
-
The part of the consciousness that involves
feeling; sensibility: The very essence of literature is the war between emotion & intellect
Isaac Bashevis Singer
feelings
-
The sensation involving perception by touch.
-
A sensation experienced thru touch.
-
A physical sensation: a feeling of warmth.
-
-
-
-
An emotional state or disposition; an emotion: expressed deep feeling.
-
-
-
Capacity to experience the higher emotions; sensitivity; sensibility: a man of feeling.
-
feelings Susceptibility to emotional response; sensibilities:
The child's feelings are easily hurt.
-
Since childhood or actually since birth - you've been feeling emotions and feelings. Usually our parents weren't familiar themselves with the importance of paying attention to resolving our daily emotions
& feelings.
All emotions &
feelings are in alphabetical order. You will travel through the underlined link words throughout the emotional feelings network of sites.
This is the index of all the sites
you'll find within the network:
Emotional Feelings: containing all feelings & emotions that
begin with “a”
Emotional feelings, 4 which features all emotions & feelings beginning with
the letter, "d" the move
is being done gradually, so please be patient! stop in to see the new site anytime!
extremely emotional:
containing all feelings & emotions beginning with the letter "s thru w"
I'm so sorry but there is no access
to this site. See the notation at the top of the page for further instructions.
your "Un"emotional Side: This site highlights all feelings &
emotions using the prefix "un" before them - then beginning with the letter "a" thru words beginning with "k."
A New Year's Added Element!
your "Un"emotional Side 2 has just been opened as your "Un"emotional Side: has gotten too full of information to hold any more! This site highlights all feelings & emotions using the prefix "un" before them then beginning
with the letter "l" thru the end of the alphabet!
Just don't think that this site is the right one for you?
Have you read down
the list of 28 sites to find out that this can't be what you're dealing with?
When you do find out what's troubling
you, please! send me an email and let me know what it was - once you find out of course! Just click me into your favorites so that you can find me to send
me the email! It might end up being a common problem that I might find beneficial to add to the site!
If you think that you might
need to research within the emotional feelings network of sites before you can make a decision if this could be your self
help network of sites for recovery - click here to visit, "try recovering 101!"
try recovering 101 is a
small site that offers you some insight into personal growth and recovery! Take a look around and see if there are any familiar
issues there that you can identify with!
Yes! another few sites!
I found after my husband had a heart attack, that having
a heart attack is an extremely emotional experience. He was having difficulties since the day after his stents were put in,
with keeping from crying, and it wasn't because of the pain he was experiencing!
They don't keep you in the hospital very long anyway and he
found himself very sensitive for quite some time afterwards. He began to speak to some of his friends who had heart attacks
and they said the same thing.
I suffered a two year stint in a wheel chair when I unexpectedly
fell down three stairs and broke both my tibia and my fibula. I had what they call, a non-union fracture! There were many
emotions and feelings that I was well aware of throughout my recovery.
I just recently designed the following 3 sites
so they're still not completed and have a long way to go, but I don't like waiting to address important topics. I wouldn't
want to hold up anyone's incentive to progress in their personal growth or recovery journey.
Physical - you 101 is a site that goes over some common illnesses, diseases and covers the true - mind/body - experience. Adding emotion and
feeling work only makes sense, don't you think?
As time goes on, I believe that this site will be packed with
some very interesting information!
Another important topic
that I found myself in total lack of knowledge about when I truly needed it was - "Life Skills" I'm not sure what my parents
were thinking when they raised me, but I had no clue as to what the world expected from me as far as my "responsibilities
in taking care of myself," after I finished high school.
My father had told
me, "College? No way!" and he cleared his throat, regained his composure and spewed out the most vehement tirade I
had ever heard from him. "You'll never go to college! I will not help you pay for college and I make too much money for you
to get a loan! So forget it! Women were born to be wives, mothers and housekeepers! Go find a man, get married - get pregnant
- and clean your house!"
My soul fell into such despair
and sorrow that I did exactly what he said. It was the beginning to my end. It was the initial ignition of a life filled
with misery and pain for me and my children. I'm sure my husbands suffered as well. They were mostly abusive men, like my
father, but I didn't ever know what "normal" was.
So, life-skills 101 was designed for those of you who are in the same boat, so to speak! Find out what you can do to improve your personal
situation! Don't take the road to misery, frustration and pain like I did!
Learn some life skills by visiting this site!
As I reflected upon some of the
most important life factors in my life, I realized that my relationship with the Lord has always, since childhood,
had a huge bearing on how I felt about myself. Religion was always a fascination with me, mainly because my family was split
into three different religions.
different-religions is about how your religious beliefs have a bearing on your most important life decisions, dysfunctions and more. I was also
involved in a fundamental baptist church for two years that ended up being a "cult." Religion has been some of my happiest
times and some of my most futile times.
But when I made the decision
to leave the state of Michigan and my abusive marriage, nine months pregnant and only 2 weeks from my due date, toddler in
hand - the only thing I brought was a bible in the brown paper bag that held 2 newborn baby outfits, some diapers and wipes
and my important papers.
Think about
helping me with this site. I'd love to have some input into it. The other hurtful event in my life revolving around religion
was the fact that being raised in the Episcopal church, my minister, married with two children - got divorced and left the
church to move back to New York City.
I got married and moved
away from New Hampshire and one day I received a letter concerning my friend, the minister from that small New Hampshire Episcopal
church on the hill. He had died of Aids. It was a shock, never knowing he was gay, I found myself in a huge moral argument
with myself. To this day, I'm still not sure how I feel about the whole mess. I just know it was very troubling being
deceived the way I was.
different-religions is someplace you can express your feelings about religion and learn about how others feel as well!
the e-mail connection!
send me an e-mail anytime!
if you have questions, suggestions or just want to say "hey!"
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i do make many of my own graphics, dividers & such... go ahead and use them
if you like! i'm all about sharing!
i often see that people are visiting the sites
from an image centered search, so feel free!
kathleen |
in just a few sites, you'll notice lots of "theme" type graphics instead of this
standard blue & white striped background! those graphics are borrowed from the following site! kitty is awesome and i
thank her profoundly as i feel that mental health issues, emotions & feelings & other important topics can sometimes
be a bit boring, so they need something exciting sometimes..... kitty does a great job!
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Okay.... after the cry... what
does the baby expect? (Our first experience with expectations! This is scary!) It has just gone through
a painful journey through the birth canal, experienced it's first breath of air, been maybe - spanked - by the doctor, prodded,
poked & suctioned by the nurses - what do you think that baby - that baby who is you is expecting?
It's a wonder that we can
adequately comfort the newborn baby at all! It's just been removed from the "perfect" environment! The constant temperature that
was maintained inside the womb has been disturbed.
The muffled sounds
the baby once heard are now loud voices & noises. The baby wants to be comforted, held close, tightly, to be soothed. This is the goal of every newborn baby who enters the world. To find it's own mother & father's arms for comfort, the sound of their familiar voices & to feel close to them. The baby wants to feel safe, secure & loved.
The baby wants
to sense it's needs are being met. The first thing some mothers will offer the baby is her breast. If breast feeding is what has been planned, or bottle - the baby will be offered food. This is meeting another need of the newborn. The baby wants his or her needs met.
This is all that
is needed by a newborn. If the baby is cold - it wants warmth. If the baby is hungry - it wants food. The baby wants to feel safe, secure - often times babies are swaddled to meet that safe & secure need. The baby has but just a few needs, but they must be met for that baby to continue to grow in a healthy manner.
(In my personal growth recovery journey - yes - even after having 5 children - this was the first time that I thought about the fact that "I" had needs as a human being. I learned about making good choices somewhere along the age of 40 and that was much too late to change
my already bad habits! Yeah, I didn't learn about welfare or domestic violence shelters until after I was in my 40's - again
too late!)
It's very difficult for
most people to grasp the concept that what they're feeling today - is deeply rooted in this very important time in our lives - the first 3 years of our lives.
Not only the first 3 years - but in our physical & mental development those 3 years are crucial for essential growth opportunity.
This understanding takes a huge amount of pressure from my shoulders. I've believed that my troubles - the weight of the world to me - weren't going to suddenly disappear if I blamed anyone for my situation, and that by taking ownership for my recovery; using my energies for being responsible myself to find a way out of my misery.
It's really all about grasping the connections once you find them! It's interesting, it's a powerful discovery... personal growth and recovery through self examination and "in depth" study in developmental factors we were never taught as children, teens or even young
adults will bring a new peace and enlightenment into your world today!
The information below
is a brief description of the entire network of emotional feelings sites and how to navigate
them. There is also my monthly column, "i've just gotta say it!" & other information
that is important for you to consider.
Please consider that there
is a reason for every piece of information within the network. I have worked these sites up & down, back & forth - for
one simple reason.
Adding this dimension to
my journey has introduced me to others who are also "in need". Others are out there that have lived similar lives. There are others out there that just need someone to talk to for support! I have the time. I want to help others. I feel that if the entire world spent a consistent percentage of their time everyday helping others, our world would be a glorious place to live.
Each
emotion page is filled with articles filled with information concerning
the featured emotion or feeling. These articles are written by experts, others in recovery or a personal growth journey, associations, institutions & other reputable sources.
One part of the site that I feel is very interesting
- for me anyways - is that I write quite a few articles myself. I love reading the articles I wrote
way back when - 5 years ago - when I was still very new to recovery! It's amazing to me how far I've come!
At the bottom of the
article or the bottom of the page - either/or - you'll find an underlined title link for you to click on that will take you directly to the source page. A new window will emerge on your screen
so you won't loose this page while you're checking the source site.
I read every article
& implement as much of the information I take in to benefit my own recovery process. Helping others is so worthwhile for me.
I enjoy working on the computer,
receiving e-mail from those trying to help themselves & are stuck, meaning that they may need help & most of all - you can learn so much more from helping others.
I believe that you may learn things you may
have never understood before, if you weren't trying to help someone else with their problem. You look at things from a different perspective & it forces you to keep your mind sharp, being
open & aware of thing at all times.
Some of you may have heard of the concept that you never know what will
trigger a very important treasure chest of individually important information that's exactly what you needed to find!
It could be talking to a stranger, or sometimes someone very
close to you just says something that you're particularly keyed in on. It could be a book, a magazine or a newspaper article...
the odds here are large that something will be of interest to you because of the vast opportunity of information!
Just try to enter the site pages with an open
mind, breathing slowly & deeply with your emotional feelings experience to enable your brain & your thought processes to do their job in helping you to be aware of information that may be useful to you in your recovery from whatever is holding you back from personal growth.
kathleen
I often receive e-mail that asks, "Who are you anyway? Why do you do this? It must take 1000's of hours to work on these sites!"
| my 15 year old son, Preston |
|
| showing me how he's feeling at the moment! |
"Never apologize
for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize
for the truth."
Benjamin Disraeli
underlined link words: are offered because as I researched information to study for my own recovery - I failed to immediately grasp the concept of how certain factors that I had studied were connected to each other. I wasn't able to see what was right before my eyes because of:
I believe & work very hard to offer this special feature within all of the emotional feelings
network of sites web pages.
When you read thru the articles, definitions
or quotations - you'll see the underlined link words (all emotion & feeling words, as well as other specifically pertinent to recovery & personal growth words) that are offered for you to
delve even further into the meaning of the information being displayed.
The reason I believe this so important for you in recovery from many dysfunctions or personal growth efforts is that often we can't make progress until we
allow ourselves to be open to all possibilities & allow ourselves to develop a sense of curiosity.
When you click on the underlined link words - a new window will always open - leaving you with the original window of information that you began
with. You don't have to delete your original window, just minimize it until you have looked over your new & additional
information concerning the emotion or feeling underlined link word you clicked on.
You will notice that the same word on each page is an
underlined link word throughout the whole page. Why is that so?
There's a saying:
You can lead a horse to water,
but you can't make him drink.
I can offer you the underlined link word to click on, but you might not want to. Why bother? You're in a hurry to learn what you need to learn so you will feel better, or you might think you don't need that information! You have enough info right here without searching any further.
You could be reading along - in your normal hurry
- when you see some information that sounds like it was written about you. Then you see
the underlined link word that describes exactly how you're feeling.
You might click on it. This is why I continue
to work extra hard to encourage you to use the resources available to you here at the emotional feelings network of 28+ sites!
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This isn't your usual network of sites! Each e-mail is answered personally by myself, Kathleen, from Dayton, Ohio. Nothing is as annoying to me as sending in an e-mail to ask a question about the site or to relay a personal situation & only
receive an automated response saying that my e-mail was received, but never a personal response! It's like making a phone
call and being answered by those machines! I absolutely hate that!
That's not acceptable to me. I answer each e-mail usually within one day's time, but it is always a personal answer. I take my e-mail correspondences
very seriously. I reflect upon the e-mail that has been sent to me very carefully because I believe that personal sharing of problems is a very trusted confidence.
Sometimes it's a continuing correspondence over a period
of time and other times I never hear back once I've answered the original e-mail question. Either way, there are no automated
answers to questions here at the emotional feelings network of sites! I treasure each one
I receive!
I've made some very nice friends through my network of sites
and the correspondences have allowed me to grow personally and learn even more about my potential. I believe the sharing of information is an incredible way to learn more about yourself.
"i've just
gotta say it!"
November 2008
kathleen howe
I've just
gotta say it...
I've been
doing a great deal of self reflection work this month.
I haven't been good to myself and it's time that habit stopped forever. How about that? I not only wish that I'd made
this commitment to myself much sooner; I wish that I had realized the importance of being good to ones' self. Does this sound like
something you would be able to admit about yourself? Think about it for awhile and then continue thinking about
it until you come up with a concrete conclusion.
I made a
commitment to myself about the emotional feelings network of sites and I've kept
my word. I made that commitment when there was only one site. Although the one site grew into a network of 28+ sites - I've
kept my commitment of continuing to work on these sites and hold them close to my heart. Therefore, along with the realization
that things have changed for me since that initial commitment - especially in the arena of personal growth and recovery -
I just want to be sure that everyone who is a fan of this network realizes that I'm going to work on in the coming year, making
some very profound changes in the sites.
I have always
kept the sites limited in space because they are free
sites; but now I have started with this site, paying a monthly fee to keep the site packed full of information past the economy
level of "freedom," to allow this site to grow in size instead of opening up anymore sites. Now I have to pay for this
site because it is well over the "free" amount of space and is continuing to grow because I'm paying the fee. I'm still not
working so this is difficult. I can't say that I'm not working - these sites are a lot of work!
And I have begun
sending out agent query letters in an attempt to publish my first book, titled, "Triggered" which
has to do with my real life living with post traumatic stress disorder, depression and the night eating disorder that I lived
with most of my life.
So that's
work, too, especially writing - that's lots of work.
I have also begun sending out agent query letters for the children's books I have written. I am pursuing my dream. This is
the first step I am making in keeping true to the second commitment I've ever made to myself. I have committed to being good
to myself so I am no longer allowing my self fulfilling prophecy of failure deemed by my father when I was only eighteen years
old to be true. I am going to be a very successful author and business woman and I am counting on myself to make it happen.
Therefore
- I'm spending the $10.00 a month it takes to maintain
this site. Before long, that cost could double, triple - well there's 28+ sites and that's enough sites, they'll just have
to cost me money from now on to make them all larger! You must realize that I've spent so many hours on these sites for seven
years that I'd never be able to count them, but I've loved every minute of it.
My favorite
part of the sites has been meeting all of you out there.
You all have made a profound difference in my life. I've been so inspired and encouraged through the emails exchanged and
the friendships formed throughout my seven years with the emotional feelings network of sites - I just can't describe the
depth of emotion and feeling that has touched my heart through my correspondences with all of you. Thank you!
I can't imagine every leaving the sites behind, truly. It warms my heart to hear from you all and I know how painful and difficult life can be at times. I just hope
that something you find here helps you.
My goals
for my children's books are to have the proceeds from
those books go to a special fund for parents and children's mental health needs. I'm so hoping to start up a foundation that
allows parents who need help with their mental health and don't have insurance to get the help they need. This is a big goal,
but I have big ideas and now that I'm going to be good to myself - I'm going to be successful with this venture. Children
need mental health counseling as well. I think that there's also a huge need for a mental health assessment for all teachers.
Teachers have such an impact upon our children while they spend so much of their time in the classroom and unfortunately -
I've seen too many teachers needing a mental health assessment and no one has funding for those types of things. Perhaps this
foundation will be able to help with that project as well.
I've also
been attending to my "needs" in my new commitment to being good to myself. I've just recently gone to a sleep
clinic here at Kettering Hospital and I've been to visit a
new psychological nurse practitioner who evaluates you for medication needs, which I am trying to get straight with. I've
also started to go to counseling again, after having my PTSD triggered again. My brains have been almost solid mush lately
in changing meds and dealing with PTSD symptoms once again, but I'm fighting it. I won't give up. I'm doing what I need to
do to be healthy both mentally and physically.
Therefore, in keeping with my newest commitment, I'm hoping that you'll end
up seeing more to help you here at the emotional feelings network of sites.
Making some money will allow me to spend more time and money right here - finding information, answering emails and helping
those whom I can help in some way. I hope that this month you'll begin to see changes here on this homepage.
I hope this month finds you all well and ready
to share a Thanksgiving Dinner with someone that you love or care about!
I've been seeing the buzz word "STRUGGLING" such as, "I'm struggling with this depression." Or, "I'm struggling with my pessimistic
attitude." If you're struggling that's a good
thing. It means you're causing action to take place.
You're fighting against the negative energies in your life. Get stronger through reinforcing the positive factors in your
life. Guess what!!! That part includes helping yourself through helping others! You will gain a new kind of power through
performing random acts of kindness, finding a cause to fight for, helping an injured soldier, volunteering within your community.
Find your passion and struggle to share it with people. It's not easy to find time, but it's well worth the effort. It's the
American way. Think about it!
Busy Hands in Hard Times May
Prevent PTSD
Distractions
May Ward Off Traumatic Flashbacks
By Jennifer Warner
WebMD
Medical News
Reviewed by Brunilda
Nazario, MD
March 9, 2004 --
Keeping your hands busy during a traumatic event may help ward off posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), according to a new
study.
Researchers say the findings may explain
why worry beads and other traditional practices designed to distract people from their troubles are popular and sometimes
effective.
The study showed that people who tapped out a specified pattern with their fingers
while watching a traumatic film with horrific images had significantly fewer flashbacks or other disturbing memories than
those who did nothing.
Uncontrollable flashbacks or intrusive memories of a traumatic event are a hallmark
of PTSD.
The results of this study are only preliminary, but "it does suggest that there
may be a psychological way to reduce post-trauma intrusions, rather than a medical way such as taking medication," says researcher
Emily A. Holmes of University College London, in a news release.
The findings appear in the March issue of the Journal of Experimental Psychology:
General.
Distractions May Deter PTSD
In the study, researchers tested the effects of using different types of distractions
on people who watched a 12.5-minute traumatic video including footage of the aftermath of actual car accidents and workers
moving dead bodies.
In tests, participants either tapped out a specified pattern on a hidden keyboard
(a visuospatial task), counted down by threes (a verbal task), or nothing at all while watching the film.
During the following week, they recorded any intrusive memories of the video
in a diary.
Researchers found that those who performed the tapping task reported significantly
fewer intrusive memories than those who did nothing at all.
In addition, the study showed that those who performed the verbal task actually
experienced a greater number of disturbing flashbacks and memories than those who did nothing.
Researchers say the findings support the notion that people process traumatic
events on many different levels in the brain. For example, performing a verbal task may limit the type of conceptual processing
needed to help people "make sense" of disturbing images.
In contrast, performing tasks that involve more than one sense, such as a visuospatial
ones like tapping or rubbing on beads, might interfere and limit the processing and encoding of traumatic images in the brain
and lead to fewer flashbacks.
Researchers say more study is needed to better understand these effects and to
determine if distractions such as these might also be effective in preventing PTSD when done immediately after trauma.
source site: WebMD
Visit the website "werenotafraid.com"
and hopefully you'll be able to view some of the pictures...
the response was so overwhelming that the site is using more
than the allotted bandwith obviously as you can't access the galleries any time you visit, you just have to be patient!
emotional feelings network of sites
would like to join in on the statement being made by the populations worldwide, and offers an oppotunity for you to make your
own - we're not afraid - picture and send them in here at emotional feelings to replace the pics that are already in place
all over the site! just send them to:
kathleen
ps. read more about the website and see one of the pics submitted
to the website by visiting the "afraid page" just click !!!
"The human contribution is the essential ingredient. It is only in the
giving of oneself to others that we truly live."
Ethel Percy Andrus
Maybe you're visiting the emotional feelings network of sites because you are searching for the reason for your unhappiness. Have you ever thought about what would make you happy?
The article directly
below about happiness is a good starting point in the study of happiness. After you study about happiness and unhappiness you may gain a better understanding of what happiness is all about! It's articles like this throughout the emotional feelings network of sites
that spring our minds into action - to ponder upon - what we might be truly feeling.
You Are Always Happy!
By Alan Michael Ross
When you ask someone, ‘What
is the purpose of life?’, most people, after much umming & ahhing, say something like, ‘to be happy’.
We all have the desire to be happy. ‘Happy’ is some conglomeration of feeling good – light, free, strong, flowing – & not feeling bad – nothing to worry about, no fears & concerns.
This is what drives us.
If you observe yourself for a day you’ll see that in every situation we move away from situations where we don’t
feel good & towards that which we think will have us feel good. Right?
But what if the place we're looking for happiness is the wrong place?
Our main thought, even if we aren't aware of it, is that happiness is out there & over there. A misconception that things ‘out there’ MAKE us happy & so, GIVE us happiness.
If I can just get the world
to look the way I want, if this happens, if I have that, if I'm doing this… then I'll be happy… in the future. And if we get there, we’ll GET it.
So, we plan & do things
that'll hopefully result in us being happy with our lot in life. And this is our continual struggle & why life can sometimes be very tiring! Come on
happiness, where did you go?
I know you're around here
somewhere!
The thing is this, happiness is NOT a thing! A good job can’t GIVE it to us, our new clothes can’t GIVE it to us & our favourite
car can’t GIVE it to us.
How many times have you had
a car turn around to you & say, "There you go there’s a box of happiness, it’s for you!"
Several years ago I was sitting on a beach in Hawaii, where
I was living, watching the sun set on the Pacific Ocean & I was NOT happy! I was thinking, if I could just have this, be there, do that, THEN I'll be happy!
Then the shock of the contrast
hit me. Well this is paradise, if I’m not happy here, where?! So I thought back & remembered that a few months before I wasn’t happy thinking, if I could just get that job in Hawaii, live there, go to the beach, paradise, THEN I’ll be happy!
And I went back & back.
Same pattern. What if it’s not that ‘out there’ that makes me happy? Maybe it’s what I'm bringing to the party! Maybe it’s not a THING I can GET from out there?
So what is it if it’s not a thing that we can get? It’s a state of being.
You aren't having happy, you’re not doing happy, you’re BEING happy. Starts to sound pretty elusive at this point, right?!
Yes & no. The good
news is that happiness is our natural state. Why? Because we're happy when we're being ourselves.
Happiness is like the sun behind the clouds. It's always there. It’s just that what we think & do has us being some thing other than happy, like anxious, stressed, worried, bored & doubtful.
You're always happy, you're just not aware of it because you're paying attention to something else!
So, how do we experience
our happiness? This state of being our true selves. Well here are some pointers.
You can only be happy now!
If you notice yourself for one day you'll see that in the majority of
moments you want something else other than what's happening now – we're UNHAPPY WITH NOW!
We think that, if it was like this, if he didn’t do that, if I had this, then it would be better. When we
set goals or think about what we want in life it is always, I'll be happy when I have this, do that, sort this situation out in the FUTURE. But tomorrow never comes. And the cycle
continues. You can only be happy now!
The very thought that happiness is ‘over there’ means that it’s ‘not here’ & that becomes your experience. Your mind
is like a Xerox machine, it simply copies your thoughts that generate your experience.
So, what to do? Know
that happiness is a NOW experience. You can only experience your being happy now. And if you keep waiting for it, it'll wait. Accept your circumstance now & be happy.
Focus on what you want
Many times what
stops us from being happy now is that we're being concerned, anxious, even fearful of the future – we're UNHAPPY WITH THE FUTURE!
This can be the next 15 minutes,
hour, day, or week. So what are we doing? Simple, we're focussing on what we don’t want to happen.
Thinking about all the things, that could happen, that you don’t want & not being happy about them!
Stop doing that
to yourself! It doesn’t feel good!
So it’s simple. When you catch yourself worrying about the future,
notice that you're thinking about what you don’t want & think AGAIN! Best not hold on too tight though. I suggest you…
Let go & flow!
In our desire to reduce ‘bad situations’ & increase ‘good situations’, we continuously monitor &
control with our minds. I have to do this, sort that out, make sure this happens & on & on. This creates stress.
We're still thinking that we can only be happy when xyz happens & worrying that if we don’t control it, it won't happen.
What to do? Realize that your being happy is nothing to do with what ‘happens’ & be happy NOW. Decide what you want then let it go. Trust in yourself & let the results flow.
A technique to make all this possible
This technique is so simple that it may be dismissed. But try it for yourself & you'll see. It’s simple, but it may not be easy… to begin with anyway, because it's the opposite of what
you're doing now, but like anything it gets easier with practice & becomes habitual. AND it'll change your life. Ready?
WATCH! That’s it. Watch, observe, listen... whatever you want to call it. Observe your thoughts, feelings & things that are happening. No need to judge, analyze or get involved.
Simply watch!
You may have thoughts come up about what you're doing as you're doing this but just watch them go by as well! It’s the passing parade. No
need to get involved. They're merely ‘suggestions’ for you to consider, or not.
What
happens? You begin to realize that everything is just a thought & you can choose to take it on & get involved, or not. You begin to connect to more of your experience, rather than being distracted.
You feel
free, calm, centered, stronger, with peace of mind… sounds like being happy!
The secret
So what do you discover?
There are no ‘bad situations’ or ‘good situations’! Only that which you think they are. The meaning you put on them. Like ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’.
You create
your own good & bad by your thoughts about things. So, you have the power to let that go… And BE happy NOW!
Happiness Coach, Alan Michael Ross, is dedicated
to helping people improve their experience of life with THE HAPPINESS PROGRAM. Get his FREE 101-day Self-Awareness Coaching
Programme and more FREE resources by visiting www.HappinessZone.com.
This article will positively affect your life.
A chapter from "You Are the Grandest Love of All - God In Human Form" by Unity Love at Counselor of the Heart.com.
Copyright 2004.
Each experience we have either shows us Who We Are ... or who we
are not.
Experiences help us better define Who We Are and they show us the way to
making grander choices. Experiences bring great insight along with a wealth of information about ourselves.
Our experiences become our
guidance ... and remind us to return to Love in every way.
Let's address our perceptions regarding the bad or negative situations that have happened in our lives. Many of us are ashamed of some of these experiences and beat ourselves up continually because of them. We are going to shed a new light in how we
can view these experiences in a different way. Below are explanations that we may not have considered before and could be
of great assistance in helping us "understand ourselves better".
Did we know that one way we find out Who We Really Are ...
is
by experiencing who we are not?
All experiences gift us with information …
they give us the ability to compare what served us grandly and what did not.
Are we aware … that our life up to this point in time,
along with all our experiences and difficulties ... have now become
our credentials?
Have we realized that the experiences we perceived as bad in our
past, but have risen above and overcome the challenges in … prepared us to become a teacher to others who are going through the very same things we did?
These experiences could be of rape, depression, alcoholism, drugs or almost anything. Are we noticing that certain people show up in our life … just because we went through those
experiences
and can truly help them now? Have we stopped to think … that this could be all part of a Master Plan going on behind the scenes of life?
It is past time we address the guilt and unworthiness we carry within ourselves ... for it is keeping us from our grandest action ... Loving ourselves.
Loving ourselves is the key to our Divinity.
Love opens us to the wonder we carry within us.
It allows all our dreams to come true.
We are going to address the things that we have done in our past that seem so uncomfortable for us to bear. These are things we have put ourselves down about, beat ourselves up for, made ourselves miserable over, and make ourselves less by, each minute we think about them.
There was a Divine Reason for those experiences … Love sees it ... do you?
It is much easier to define God in terms of what God is not ... than it is to define God in terms of what God is. Think about this dear one, there is great wisdom in this statement. This defining process applies to us as well.
It becomes easier
for us to define ... Who We Truly Are and would like to be ... when we re-evaluate the experiences that showed us who we are
not.
This gives us a much clearer picture of what we do not want to express next
time. It is at that moment of feeling unhappy ... that we become aware. We gain a much clearer picture of what not to choose again.
Many times the wiser answer comes easily through this negative experience because it just happens to be the opposite of what we chose to begin with. These particular experiences guide
us in seeing how to change our choices for the better in the future. They show the way to a grander choice of what we would really like to express.
Without these experiences stored within us acting as a reminder ... we would keep
repeating the same patterns over and over.
When we have had experiences in which
we did not seem to express our best ... it becomes important to realize "what" those experiences really did do for us. These experiences left a bad taste in our mouth and perhaps made
us feel bad for they did not work out the way we desired.
Their job was to show us ... how to make grander choices for our future ... and
our job was to notice what we were being shown.
Therefore experiencing who we are
not, is not a bad thing ... but a door-opening event to help us understand who we really would like to be. The only reason we feel bad is because we have not realized the grandeur in it all. These experiences are actually Divine ... for contained within them
is a wonderful gift. The gift is "choice". When we make a grander choice than we did before, our new choice brings about change.
Change becomes the chisel ... that rounds off the rough edges of an unsculptured piece of art ... bringing it to its true
and final beauty.
Dear one ... You are not only the piece of art being sculpted ...
but you are the sculptor!
A negative or bad experience helps us define what we did not like and were not happy with. It helps us "find" something much grander within ourselves that we might not have considered before. It helps us realize
there were different choices available to us … the choices that would have brought what we liked and what would have made us happy in that particular life situation.
These experiences happened for a reason. If
we are wise, we will make a record of what happened ... and use it to our advantage.
Once we realize
what we do not want ... we open to a whole different range of choices … that can help us feel and experience better
next time.
For how can we call forth God Expression in Human Form ... if we cannot define what it is?
We encounter these
negative feelings and experiences to notice there is a grander choice of Love, a better way of feeling and a more beautiful expression awaiting us.
In the case of guilt and unworthiness ... there is a grander choice of Love for ourselves awaiting us.
Each time we choose Love in any expression ... we step more fully into our Divinity. The Divine Plan works in many ways to bring us into our grandness.
So understand, dear one ... even our negative experiences show us the way ... to God Expression in our human form.
As we carry these past experiences and memories around
within us, instead of feeling bad about them ... we need to thank them for what they have really done for us.
They are there to help remind us not to repeat those situations again ... and they also show us
the way to a better expression.
The negative feelings we get from these experiences assist us in making grander choices the next time around … so we will
feel better. Each time they rise within us, they remind us not to repeat that particular action, situation or experience in the same
manner we did before ... if we want to be happy, that is. Negative reminders call out to us saying, "Hey don't forget we learned this before!"
When we take
heed ... we are Re-born ... a new us arises. And it is all because of the awareness we now hold …
due to our past actions and our negative experiences.
So it is time to stop beating yourself up and putting yourself down.
It is way past time to Love yourself and hold a higher consciousness and understanding for your own sake, dear one.
Become gentler to yourself. Allow yourself to have had those experiences ... for they hold much wisdom in what not to do again. You've gone through something. You've learned something. You now see new and grander choices.
All these type of things that you hold and walk around with are not there to torment you ... but they are there to remind you of ... "who you are not" and of the choices not to make again. Negative experiences are not your cross to carry ... they are your Angels holding the Light so you can see clearly in a similar darkened
situation.
It is all about Love ... It Always Was
It is all about finding the Love in a particular situation that challenges us. Love "was the reason" these experiences were presented to us to begin with.
In fact many of life's situations are presented exclusively to see if we can find
the Love. Finding Love for ourselves is one of our hardest challenges. When we find the Love and Love ourselves again ... that particular experience and lesson ends.
Do we know why? Because we now know how to hold the Love being called for … even in the hardest of times. Do we not see it is all a Divine
Plan to get us to our grandest human expression yet? That is, of course, if we do not use those experiences against ourselves.
In any experience in our life all we need to do is find the Love in the experience … along with finding the Love for whomever is involved in it. We are dealt many hands in life ... some of them are pretty drastic and really tough. Our
challenge is to always find the Love, in every situation and experience we are involved in. And most of all it is in finding the Love for ourselves … no matter what we have done.
When we find the
Love ... we feel the Love ... we experience the Love ... and others experience the Love coming from us.
We are here on this planet ... to find, hold and express the Love We Truly Are, no matter what is going on in our life, or around us.
The way we become aware and understand the Love That We Are ... is by going through all those experiences of who we are not.
Negative experiences help us stand on guard ... so we do not repeat the same situation over and over. It is the negative experiences that project us right into Who We Are. It is Love coming as a helpful friend to remind us.
Find the silver lining in any bad experience
and we go past the illusion of anything being bad … into the grand awareness and wisdom hidden as a gift in that particular experience. And it is in this way that negative experiences show us the way to what will serve us grandly in our next experience. This is the way to happiness and feeling good as we go through every situation in our lives. It is in the realization that the negative experience … wasn't really bad at all.
How our negative experiences ... open the doors for us to help others.
When we go to help another but we have not had
that particular experience ourselves ... the one looking for help listens to us in a certain way. But after we explain to this individual that we have gone through the very same experience as he
or she has ... something unique happens in the way this person listens to us from then on.
The door to their heart opens in the most beautiful of ways ... because this person comes to realize we truly do understand ... their feelings, their hurt, their pain ... and their all of it.
To this individual, you become
a genuine teacher... because you also experienced this first hand and survived it. You are able to truly guide this person in how to feel better and make grander choices in their life because of your experience in common.
Isn't it wonderful how it works?
We first come to know Who We Are …
and
then we are given the gift of helping others see ... and step into Who They Are.
So the
next time you cannot find one good thing about a certain experience in your life ask yourself ... Have I stopped and
realized the wisdom, knowledge, clarity, strength and understanding I truly gained from that experience? Do I now see a clearer path to the choices that would have better served me better and
what qualities I need to call on … for who I want to be and express next time?
Do I see how this experience also held a gift in "sculpting me into a teacher" with
much wisdom to share … so I can truly be of service to those that come to me who are having a similar experience?
One special note …
A negative or bad experience is all in the eye of the beholder. It all boils down to the perspective one holds and how they see
the situation.
But in truth … everything serves us, dear one.
It is our perception that determines
if the experience will be held as a positive or negative one. Anything we experience can be looked at in several ways … but know that anything held in a negative way can be looked at positively. It all depends on if we use the mind alone … or if we bring our heart into it as well.
Our challenge is to find the Love, goodness and silver lining ... in every experience no matter how tough it was or may be.
I
would like to share an experience from my life that really shook me up. It is given to help you fully understand a perspective of Love and how things work behind the scenes for our greater good.
Throughout my life I
was presented with many experiences that were geared to get me to speak up for myself. Every time an experience showed up
in my life to get me to do this, I failed to stand up for myself and then more experiences were presented. The reason the experiences kept coming was … I hadn't
found enough Love for myself to honor myself.
At age fifteen my boyfriend raped me. Still very much a child, I was not ready for
a sexual encounter mentally or emotionally. I cried the whole time the rape was happening … but I did not take any other
actions to make him stop. I did not speak up or stand up for myself nor did I protect myself or show resistance in any way. I thought the boy should have known better ... I thought he definitely could see me crying and would know this was not appropriate.
As crazy as
it sounds, I stayed with him for years and any sexual contact we had was like experiencing the rape over and over again.
Every time it happened, I was given another chance to Love myself enough to say what I felt in my heart and walk out. This was all happening because of my refusal to think enough of myself. I could have put an end to what was happening at any time. All I had to do was take a stand and hold my own ground. But
my silent loveless pattern continued and so did the experiences. After a traumatic event with this boy, two officers took
an hour and a half out of their day to explain the facts of life and Love to me … and because of them, I finally woke up.
I did not realize this at
the time I was experiencing it, but looking back, I now fully understand why it all had happened. Many times in my life, I was presented with experiences to speak up for myself … which I chose
over and over not to do for various reasons. Divine Love was asking me … How tough do things have to become before you stand up for yourself? How many uncomfortable experiences must be sent … for you to awaken to Loving yourself? How long will you wait before you finally honor yourself?
After many attempts of trying to get me to see and do this for myself ... the Divine Plan took me into one of my hardest lessons in life. It was presented out of Pure Love to help me awaken to one of the most important things in life … Loving myself. The reason for the experience was to find enough Love for myself to say … "No". This is "not acceptable" and walk out no matter what anyone else thought or wanted. It was all about me finally finding the Love I needed for myself, the Love that I had been missing the whole time.
Now as I look back ... I no longer see this
as a negative experience. I realize it was all to bring me back to the Love I should have been holding for myself all along. The boy was but a character in my life that came to push me beyond my loveless boundaries. His role was to challenge me more than any other situation before … so I would finally come to honor myself and say "No".
The experience was all Divinely Created ... so I would finally
say and do what I needed to for myself, and find the Love I so desperately needed as well.
When we come to understand that every experience we have... is but to find the Love or gift hidden in it ... it all gets pretty simple. Understanding brings great wisdom. Wisdom is Love. Love is
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